I Hate Having my Picture Taken OR Someone Should Fire That Damn Photographer

Some people are just naturally photogenic.  These people post tons of pictures of themselves on FaceBook and Tumblr and their personal "Look at me I'm so Beautiful" website; pictures of them with the wind slightly tousling their long flowing locks and a serene setting with the waves just right or the tree in the perfect bloom and their ears don't stick out the side of their head at all.  That is not me.  No, don't worry, I'm not an ogre and I don't sport a unibrow.  In fact, more than once in my life I've been told how beautiful I am (by people not trying to sleep with me even!). But once that camera comes out my hair starts to revolt.  My ears grow twice their normal size. My nose grows. My makeup magically disappears. My clothes become disheveled and no matter if there is coffee around or not, some of it ends up on my shirt in a highly visible spot.  And when I try to smile one of my eyes gets all squunchy (that's a word, I'm sure) and the other one just stares ahead. It's terrible.  And there is no known cure.  Looking back across my childhood I see that the only good pictures of me that have ever been taken were in black and white and I wasn't smiling.  The grim look seems to suit me better.  Perhaps I was never meant to be in technicolor.  Or maybe you just can't contain all this awesomeness in one little print.