Whatever gets your frog to croaking or The further adventures of French Vanilla coffee creamer

Sometimes I wonder why on Earth people have to get so uptight about every little thing that happens.  Then I end up dribbling coffee on my freshly laundered light colored shirt between the house and the car when I am running late on the way to work.  Fuckin' shite! Of course I'm uptight about it.  I just spent the last 12.7 minutes putting on makeup, deciding what to wear, spraying on an extra layer of body spray because I didn't have time to shower because I love the snooze button on my alarm too much, and I was thinking about an awesome idea for a meme and if I woke completely up I would instantly forget it, and then I had to deal with my hair, and these damn shoes always give me a blister if I don't wear hose with them, and I am almost out of coffee creamer and thank God payday is only 2 days away because I can't exist in the mornings without International Delights French Vanilla, none of that non-fat, low-fat, low-cal, sugar free shit for me, thank you very much, and GOD is that what time it is?!  Yeah, just a little uptight. So when I see the coffee I spilled on my shirt I need to remember that at least I drink it with coffee creamer, which makes it not quite so dark.